shit is absolutely terrifying.
I’m sure by now you’ve all seen the video where Mick Fanning is in the final heat and gets sucker-finned by a great white out of no where… Yes, sucker-finned is a word, and used quite frequently. The amazingly talented, gorgeously accented pro surfer claims to have ‘punched him in the back’. Which, I would like to point out, is quite sexist. What if it was a gal great white? Whom had her shark period, hence the whole “I’m gonna eat your soul” bit? It could happen. Actually, I’m extremely optimistic to the idea that that IS what happened. He should’ve just turned around, said “I think it’s just water weight, you look lovely, and no this ocean doesn’t make you look fat.” and went about his merry way winning the competition.
The video was shocking to say the least – he was just hanging out, waiting for the perfect Point Blank wave, when there she was. Sharon the Shark. CNN called him heroic for reacting as quickly as he did, along with the safety personnel.. I agree. I would’ve
shat in those waters, I tell ya what.
I lived in New Smyrna Beach, Fl for a little over a summer, and had my fair share of ocean ‘
shit-my-pant-episodes’. JHubbs kept beckoning me into neck deep waters (in the shark bite capitol of the world, mind you) and I obviously wasn’t suicidal and stayed around ankle deep – even though I HAVE heard that waist deep is equally as dangerous. I’m watching him and our two roomies at the time and just LIVING in the moment. Wouldn’t you?
When all of the sudden, I notice JHubbs happy face quickly turn into a look that was similar to his “I just sharted” face…
Panic ensues. Splashing. Screaming. All three of them were by my side in like 30 seconds flat. What happened? They all stepped on a mother
fucking shark. A SHARK. STEPPED. With what they use to walk with! Shit is attached to the ankles, and such! I giggled in my own, cute maniacal way, knowing I was right and the ocean is a death trap waiting to happen. WHICH, just so happens to be beautiful and inviting, and completely serence at most times.
This reminds me of when I was younger, and thought sharks could just somehow materialize out of nowhere and eat me while swimming in my mothers 4 foot deep pool.
Stop looking at me, swan! You’ve thought it at some time in your life. I’m not the only one.