Be a lazy, garbage eating, douche? Nama-stay clean eating and yogafied.


Never did I think I would be that girl who hopped out of bed at 6 am to start my day by shoveling some berries, and chai seed in my mouth before a rousing session of stretching and downward facing dog poses… But, alas, I am. Ommmm. It’s an addiction really – once you start caring for your health like a total freak of nature you find it hard to stomach anything else. I love knowing that I can eat as much fruit and veggies as I please and not gain a pound. I love waking up and feeling energized before my feet even hit the floor. My complexion looks better, my anxiety and depression nearly gone. If that, dear friends, is not enough to make you want to change your diet, then I don’t know what to say. Its kinda common sense, people. Those fad diets people jump into do nothing but get you all discouraged because of the limitations it puts on you – that’s why whole foods is simply the way to go. Its not a diet, it’s a life style. That is the difference. I used to weigh 300 pounds 4 years ago – now, at 140 lbs, I’m finally reaching my goal weight. I have to admit having perfectionism, which is definitely a con when it comes to bettering yourself. Why? Because, instead of looking at all the progress you’ve made and being happy with it, you get pissed at yourself for not following through with every little goal you set for yourself. Like, for instance, if I tripped and fell into a bag of Doritos and just so happened to eat my way out of this horrible accident, I’d be livid with myself and limit what I ate for a week… Not fun. No bueno. Fuck that. I’m taking small steps to fix this – trying to be okay with my mistakes, rather than sell my soul to Satan because I fucking ate a damn chip, and that’s what sinners get. The fuck? Right. Here’s some proof of my success, just for your face.

I'm the one in the back right in black, holding my adorably plump son as well. Holy. Heffer.

I’m the one in the back right in black, holding my adorably plump son as well. Holy. Heffer.

I was so depressed, and my anxiety was so high, I sat around all day binge eating and hating life. But then, I was introduced to whole foods and its way of life, and….

And voila, here I am now. I'm not 125, but I'm getting there. I'm 5'6 so gimme a damn break, k?

And voila, here I am now. I’m not 125, but I’m getting there. I’m 5’6 so gimme a damn break, k?

Its all about loving yourself no matter what your weight, and not letting yourself be negative towards your body even if you do have some extra pounds on it… Its the only one you get, so treat it well. Instead of trying to just be skinny, let’s try and be healthy. Words of friggen wisdom right there. If you mess up, and eat a whole chocolate cake, plus the napkins that come with it – don’t fret. Wake up, brush it off, and try again. Eat some nuts and berries like the missing Link – minus the frogs though, unless that’s your kinda thing. I do hear they taste like chicken. /shrug.


 So, basically what I’ll be doing in this part of the ol’ blog, is telling you what I eat, how much, what exercises I do, and also my progress – because like I said, I am a work in progress. I’ll always help anyone who’s in need of some advice, and I’ll always be upfront and completely, 100% BRUTALLY honest with you. It’s kinda my thing. 😉 Can’t wait to get this started next week, it’s gonna be one hell of a ride, and I look forward to sharing this with you!


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